This is one of the best communication tools I have ever learned….

Have you ever shared an experience with a friend and your accounts of that experience are completely different?

You both were there.

How could you have a different recollection?

Have you ever been on the phone with a customer service rep and they did not understand what you wanted?


They just couldn’t understand your urgency?

In business did you ever thing you gave the greatest presentation to a prospect and you couldn’t understand why they didn’t buy?

I have had these experiences 100s of times myself.

But why do they happen?

How do they happen?

Honestly, we can dive down into a few different communication strategies and techniques, but the one that is easiest to implement, and practice are…

Perceptual Positions

In every 1:1 conversation there 3 stories.

Your Story

The person you’re communicating with story,

and a…

3rd person observers’ story.

Would you agree we all have different states of mind?

Would you agree we all have different filters?


So, we all are going to communicate only from our reference point.

Our own reference point…

From our filters

From our state of mind


The best thing is to practice this. Run through what each person may be thinking.

For example, …

I have done over 2,000 keynote and group presentations.

I always think…

What are my goals for the presentation?

What is the state of mind and interest level from the audience?

What would someone watching on the rafters say?

This approach has always given me the proper frames to set up in the beginning of the presentation to get the audience out of their own heads and on my side!

The same thing happens when you call a customer service rep.

What are my goals?

What state of mind is the service rep going to be in?

What would someone listening in on the call tell me to do?

Here is the point…

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Practice this consciously!

Meaning sit down and answer the questions I wrote above before you conduct a business meeting.

Do it as many times as you need to, to make sure it is an unconscious habit!

I was helping someone with a presentation this morning. In the first 5 minutes of hearing what his plan was I could identify a ton of objectionable material he was bringing up.


He was only thinking of what he wanted to say.

He was not thinking…

What are my client’s problems?

What do they think their problems are?

What do they think they know?

The key is establishing your goals…

How to help my client solve their problem?

How do I help them decide?

What would a person watching the interaction tell me to do?

Try it out!



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